Creating Meaningful Holiday Experiences for Children with Disabilities

The holidays are a wonderful time to gather with loved ones and make lasting memories. When you have a child with a disability, a little preparation and planning can go a long way toward creating experiences for all to enjoy.

This guide will walk you through four key strategies for creating inclusive holiday celebrations:

1. Previewing – Prepare your child for what's ahead so they can feel confident and ready.

2. Accommodating – Adapt the environment to meet your child's needs.

3. Creating Meaning – Design experiences that resonate with your child's unique way of experiencing the world.

4. Knowing Your Child – Use your expertise as a parent to guide your planning.

Previewing: Plan Ahead for Enjoyment and Success

In her book Your Kid Belongs Here: An Insider's Guide to Parenting Neurodiverse Children, author Katie Rose Guest Pryal defines previewing as “when you let someone know what is coming, so that they can manage their expectations properly and prepare for it, both mentally and with tools as necessary." This neuro-affirming approach focuses on preparing the child for the environment without trying to force them to conform to neurotypical norms.

Previewing strategies may include:

• Using social stories to talk about what the family holiday gathering will be like. Social stories can help your child understand what to expect and feel more comfortable with upcoming events.

  • Learn more about social stories: Understanding Social Stories

  • Find winter-specific social stories: Holiday Social Stories

• Going over potential demands and planning responses together. Discuss what social, sensory, and physical demands may be made of your child and how you'll handle them. For example, talk through scenarios like hugs from relatives, loud conversations, and encountering new foods.

• Planning for breaks in activity as needed. Build in time for your child to step away and reset when things become overwhelming.

Accommodate: Different Doesn't Mean Less Magical

Research tells us that adapting the environment to the child is more effective than forcing the child to adapt to a given circumstance. The holidays are exciting, but they can also be over-stimulating, stressful, and occasionally inaccessible. The good news is that thoughtful accommodations can help everyone participate more fully.

Accommodation examples may include:

• Using a visual schedule to map out how your holiday routine may change and allowing your child to review it in advance.

• Allowing your child to bring preferred foods to eat at holiday gatherings.

• Letting your child thank gift-givers in person and open their gifts privately at home, if large group gift-opening feels overwhelming.

• Brailling the group game you plan to play so everyone can participate.

• Planning your gatherings in spaces where all guests can access the physical environment.

• Offering a quiet area for guests to take reset breaks when needed.
  

Create Meaning: Bring the Holiday to Everyone

The method used to create meaning for children with disabilities will vary based on each child's unique interests and ways of experiencing the world. The key is finding what resonates with your child and building traditions around those elements.

Examples of creating meaning include:

• Providing multi-sensory decorations for children to touch, smell, and hear. Let the holidays engage all the senses in ways that feel good to your child.

• Discovering your child's favorite aspects of the holiday and using them to create meaning. For example, if your child enjoys looking at lights, explore this theme deliberately by driving around to view neighborhood displays and involving your child in creating your family's light display.

• Communicating throughout holiday events to keep everyone involved. Make sure your child who is hearing or visually impaired is included in the jokes, stories, and conversations they might otherwise miss at family gatherings.

Know Your Child: You're the Expert

No one knows your child better than you do. As you plan for the holidays, consider these questions:

• Does your child enjoy multi-sensory stimulation, or do they tend toward calmer environments?

• Does your child enjoy lots of attention from family members all at once, or do they do better with one-on-one attention?

• Does your child find eating stressful, or are they ready to eat whenever there's food?

• What time of day is your child at their best?

• How much transition time does your child need between activities?

  
  

These are just a few questions that may help you plan for and guide your child's holiday experience. The most important thing is to plan for the child you have, not the child you wish you had or the child others expect you to have.

Moving Forward

The holidays don't have to look a certain way to be meaningful. By previewing, accommodating, creating meaning, and trusting your knowledge of your child, you can build holiday traditions that work for your whole family. The memories you make together are what truly matter.

If you'd like support in navigating the challenges and celebrations of parenting a child with a disability, the Center for Family Development and our disability affirming therapists are here to help. Click here to reach out to learn more about how we can help support your family.

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Inspiration for this was taken from the following sources:

• Clarke, S. (2025) A parent’s guide to an autism friendly Christmas: practical tips for calm, connection and celebration this festive season. Stillpath Books. 

• Guest Pryal, K. R. (2025) Your kid belongs here: an insider’s guide to parenting neurodiverse children. Johns Hopkins University Press.